Fueling the Fire: Turning Negative Words into Motivation

Have you ever had someone doubt your capabilities, questioning your ability to achieve something? I recently found myself in a courtroom, listening to someone who was supposed to love me, tell a judge that I'm incapable. Those words could have broken me, but they ignited a fire within me. I realized I'd been doing what he claimed I couldn't do for a year and a half. What do you do when something like that happens?


Here are 10 Steps to Handle Negative Talk:

1. Acknowledge the Emotion: Recognize how their words make you feel. Anger, hurt, disbelief, or frustration are normal reactions.

2. Assess the Source: Consider the person's credibility and motivations. Are they trying to control or manipulate you?  Some people have to make you look bad to get what they want.  It doesn't mean there is an ounce of truth to what they say.

3. Focus on Facts: Remind yourself of your accomplishments and capabilities. I'd been doing what he claimed I couldn't do for a year and a half! And then some!  I had successfully started a new career and kept all three side businesses running, while taking care of my children, home, and gardens, paying all bills on time, and doing our taxes for the first time ever, by myself. That is reality.  I am competent.

4. Reframe Negative Talk: Turn their doubts into motivation. Use their words as fuel to drive you forward. At that moment, I felt like a full-blown feminist for the first time ever.  How dare he? 


5. Set Goals: Prove them wrong by setting achievable goals and working towards them. I came home determined to work harder, smarter, and faster.  I rearranged furniture so that my office was more productive and I could accomplish more at a faster pace.

6. Surround Yourself with Positivity: Seek supportive people who believe in you. Luckily, I had a good friend in the courtroom and a great lawyer, who quickly helped me to realize where this was coming from and what I had already accomplished.

7. Practice Self-Care: Take care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. I continue to work out at the gym, watch my diet, stay hydrated, and get plenty of sleep.

8. Develop a Growth Mindset: View challenges as opportunities for growth and learning. I had to honestly ask myself if there was any truth to what he was saying.  Are there areas where outsiders would think I am incapable? How can I change that? 

9. Celebrate Successes: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements.  Go ahead, give yourself a high five.  You are worth celebrating.

10. Rise Above: Don't engage with or dwell on negativity. Focus on your journey and success. 

Negative words can either break us or fuel our determination. Choose to rise above and prove doubters wrong. Remember, their words often reflect their own limitations, not yours. Turn their negativity into motivation and achieve greatness.


© 2024 AKeenPerspective SDKeen

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